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The woman you want to be

Because I needed some time. Certainly not in recent years anyway. And I love it! That I would live. When I was at college and misbehaving a little by skipping classes and having too much fun, my form tutor once said to my Mum:.

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How to BE the Woman You Want to Be

This blog is written for men, talking directly to men. Men who have an interest in women whether heterosexual or bisexual. Even more specifically, the men who say that they want a strong, independent woman. The men who find powerful, determined women sexy.

There are some things you need to know before you go chasing women who have their shit together. However, if this blog makes you uncomfortable or angry — you might want to re-evaluate your choices and consider that you will not make a good partner for a determined woman. You might even want to question whether you are fetishizing women or hope to control them. I would hope it goes without saying, but I am proven wrong over and over again on the internet so here goes:.

Many of the points I raise in this blog are relevant to all women. Respect all women. I cannot stress that enough. Wanting a partner is different from needing a partner. If you are looking for a woman to fix, rescue, provide for and control — you need to look at yourself and explore why you want to be a dominator in your relationships instead of an equal. You need to get comfortable with being wanted but not needed. If you want a relationship in which the woman is reliant on you for everything, the issue lies with you.

You are a grown man and you need to be independent, too. Have your own hobbies and interests and goals in life. Do your own washing, your own cooking, your own cleaning, your own bill payments.

Look after the kids. Know where the Christmas decorations are. Book your own hospital appointments. Similarly, women are not your rehab.

Not just the independent, strong women you fancy — but any woman at all. Your girlfriend, your mother, your ex, your female mates. None of them are here to fix you and nurture you.

Women are not in the world to fix broken men. Do it yourself, the way women have for millennia. If this section is making you uncomfortable, you might want to explore your own therapy, support or advice before seeking new relationships. Stop, take a step back, look at your behaviour and attitudes towards yourself and her. Then go and seek help. Like now. This is not at all negative. You both still exist as humans in your own right.

Traditionally, men have had these roles and goals for centuries and women were excluded from all of it. Globally, there are still many environments and parts of life that women are excluded from because they are perceived as irrelevant or a nuisance to men.

However, when a woman does the same thing, it is often seen as the woman not caring about her male partner or being selfish or neglectful to her relationship or marriage. Think about what I am saying. Are you the bloke that moans that Steve has brought his missus to the pub again, but then guilt trips your girlfriend or wife when she wants to go out alone with her friends or colleagues? You are supposed to be their equal. This one is important. These attitudes are incompatible. Many women find feminism.

They start to realise that there is discrimination, oppression and mockery of intelligent and successful women and they will find their clan. They become more and more critical of the way they are treated in their careers, studies and lives.

I have been a female for a long time now. Especially when that man professed to be attracted to independent, go-getting women. If anything at all, they need a partner who truly recognises, admits and validates their struggle and is by their side when they are belittled, mansplained, discriminated against and trolled for being brilliant.

They need you to listen to them and be there for them when shit gets hard. Read books. Listen to podcasts. Listen to the issues that affect her. Not because it will make you attractive to more women, but because you actually want to learn this shit and care about it. Women can see right through woke bros.

Feminism is the movement to liberate all women and girls from global oppression, misogyny and sexism. News for you all — both attitudes towards successful women are abusive, unhealthy and porn-fuelled. Fuck off with both of them. Yet, they are common attitudes towards independent women. Male song writers and performers of all genres have sang and rapped about domesticating successful women for decades. The imagery of these women used in music videos, films, media and books are usually white, middle class, educated, rich, privileged, thin, beautiful and feminine.

She will be the teenage mother who raised three kids alone and is now the powerful matriarch who can hold down her household by herself. She will be the young black woman who was discriminated against all the way through school, college and university until she graduated the top of her class and is now still standing strong in the face of racism and misogyny in her profession. She will be the young woman who is covered in scars from self-harm who is now working as a therapist but is constantly up against discrimination because of the perception of her as a victim-turned-expert.

She will be the sixty-year-old butch woman who has spent her life marching to protect women and girls from trafficking, exploitation and abuse. She will be the divorced woman in her 30s who has decided to go to university to study the subject she never got to pursue when she was younger; all whilst working 40 hours a week and caring for her family.

These women are not a sex object to jack off to or fantasise about how you can make or break them. They are not a woman to be controlled or domesticated by you. They are not your mother. They are not your babysitter.

They are not a fetish. Women exist in the world. They take up space and they make noise and they change shit up and they challenge you. Their success is theirs. Their hard work is theirs. Their struggle is real. Their effort and time are valuable. Their independence is important to them. If you truly are attracted to strong, independent women — nothing in this blog will offend you or make you uncomfortable. Remember that. Psychologist specialising in victim blaming and self blame following sexual violence.

International independent specialist researcher and writer for www. Known to some as 'that woman with the fringe who talks about victim blaming and feminism all the damn time'.

View all posts by jessicapsych. I agree on most points. But there still is the elephant in the room that is called feminism. I just cant get behind it. Not because i am male, although that is some small part of it, more below. I am an equalist, everybody should have the same rights and freedom of choice.

Feminism is an umbrella term that contains in its folds some really wacky bs. Pledge to vote for feminist women only. Step away from the power. We got this.

We have every right to hate you. You have done us wrong. It is long past time to play hard for Team Feminism. And win. I am hated for my chromosome setup? No regards given if i, personally, ever oppressed a woman? Or took away from her access to power? Which it does not.

The Woman I Want to Be

When I started The Financial Diet as a personal blog to track my budget two years ago, my expectations were very low. Over the past two years, as TFD has grown into the thing that dominates my waking hours and defines a lot of my professional existence, my aspirations with money have grown in tandem. And there is a good chance that, if you were raised in America like me, watching movies and reading books and flipping past pages and pages of advertisements to get to magazine articles that were nearly-indistinguishable from more advertisements, you want to be a rich woman, too. In fact, you may think quite the opposite: you may think that your goal is to be happy, to have time and leisure and focus on simpler pleasures like nature or meditation. But I have news for you: all of those things are money.

Knowing the answer prevents later heartbreak. Sometimes this dance lasts minutes, and sometimes it lasts months or years.

It's not often that I am lost for words, but it was such a brilliant question, that I couldn't actually answer it. Try now for a second and see if you can do it. Read the question again and see if you answer it, straight off the bat. I don't think I've ever been asked such a question that has made me think about myself quite so much. And I love it!

How to Tell Someone You Only Wanna Hook Up

What if you knew exactly what women wanted? How to make them desire you intimately and how to make a woman want you sexually? For the most part, men may think that they need to be the hottest guy, have tons of money, or treat them like shit. I am here to shed some light on exactly what women want as I am a woman myself and I have worked with hundreds of women in terms of what they desire in men! Women are completely different when it comes to sparking their sexual desire. We women thrive off of emotion and how you make us feel. This is where the true magic can happen! When you can be confident enough to really understand this, you have so much more to offer! You can show a woman respect by understanding her values and asking the profound questions that help you get to know her. Foster intimate connections through your conversations with her to really get to know her.

What Kind of Woman Do You Want to Be?

As a clinical psychologist, I see lots of people who are struggling in this world because they have no sense of identity. They read tons of social media or magazines if they are older , watch TV, listen to friends and family, and do as others tell them to do. But they have no individualism—who is this person, what are her morals, her beliefs, her characteristics, and what does she stand for? Sadly, too often when I ask female patients these questions, they either look at me with a blank stare or spout off whatever someone else told them. So, what do I do?

This blog is written for men, talking directly to men.

I've made a New Year's Resolution every year that I can recall. Usually, the resolution has had something to do with improving my appearance: losing weight, working out more, eating less and generally doing what I can to morph myself into who I thought I was supposed to be. That thin, perfect example of the modern woman who does everything that's asked of her excellently, never gets hurt or upset and constantly performs to the standards set for her by others.


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In fact, it may be the most difficult task each of us takes on as we go through life. Science and ingenuity have revealed endless discoveries and inventions that serve as reminders that so long as you can dream it, you can create it. And since necessity clearly is the mother of invention, what do you need to become the woman you want to be? Respect, independence, adventure, love, equality, space? An even more important question, what kind of woman do you want to become?

The Woman I Want to Be


May 9, - Finding love is about having the right mindset & behaviors to match that mindset. You don't need to be on umpteen dating apps, be a bazillionaire.


Dear Men: So you think you want a ‘strong, independent woman’







Comments: 4
  1. Faugor

    All above told the truth. We can communicate on this theme. Here or in PM.

  2. Tarr

    You are right, it is exact

  3. Teran

    I consider, that you commit an error. I can defend the position.

  4. Nashicage

    It seems to me, you were mistaken

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